I write this with only a few hours remaining in the 2017 year. It seems so crazy that another year has passed, and that we are gifted with another opportunity to start fresh. January 1st is symbolic in many ways as it’s an opportunity for us to reflect on the year that has passed and reset ourselves for the year to come.
Reflections on 2017
When I think about the end of 2016, there was so many feelings I hadn’t taken the time to process. I came out of a long term relationship and pushed away my feelings by diving into my work and taking on many, many responsibilities. In a way, when I look back, I realize I was numbing my feelings by avoiding them and keeping busy. It wasn’t healthy. I worked so much that it left me so little time for anything else. But being the busy bee I am and a person who strives for “perfection” in all I do, I used it as an excuse to keep working and achieving so that I didn’t have to deal with my reality of being lonely.
The beginning of 2017 seemed like things were turning around. I met someone who I thought was too good to be true (and ultimately, he was). He fulfilled everything on the “checklist” and more and things seemed so promising. But yet again, I was left in heartbreak when he told me that “he wasn’t ready for something serious.”
And with this, I began to shift my thinking. Instead of placing so much emphasis on why things didn’t work out, or how I could have done things differently, or the “what ifs”–I began to think about how each experience I have –whether it be in romantic relationships or friendships– are experiences I have for a reason. I shifted my thinking so that I began seeing things with an asset based mentality. I began asking myself questions like: What did this experience teach me? What did I learn from them? How did they push me to see things differently? What was the good in that experience? Did I have fun? Did I learn something new about myself or in other people?
I began to shift my feelings from self-pity to feeling more confident, more optimistic and more self-assured in who I am. Instead of pushing my feelings away, I acknowledged them, wrote the down in my journal, and began to heal by taking the time to process my emotions.
Slowly, the healing came and somewhere around the summer, I began feeling the best I had felt in a really long time. This summer was the first summer I took off to do absolutely no work and focused on my physical and emotional health; it was incredibly enlightening for me. It sparked a new zest for life and ultimately inspired me to start this blog. It had been on my heart for some time, but I had always let fear and insecurity win each time the thought crept up.
This time, I decided that I was kicking fear to the curb and starting the dang thing, because ultimately, fear shouldn’t be the reason why I don’t try something. I kept thinking about how many missed opportunities I would continue to have in life if I just kept letting the risk of failing outweigh the risk of succeeding. And I have to say, this is one of the best decisions I have made in 2017.
And with this, this leads me to my 2018 intention reset:
- I am committing to not let fear dictate the decisions I make or let the fear of how others perceive me influence my decision making. Instead, I am going to look inwardly and ask myself: What are my intentions when making this decision? How will this impact me? How will this impact others involved? How will I benefit from this decision? What are the potential pitfalls and do they outweigh the benefits?
- I am committing to believing in and projecting a more positive mindset. Some would say that I am generally a pretty positive person (and I am!), but there are times when I let my self-doubt or worries take over. I would say that the last few weeks leading up to December were the toughest for me. I let my health issues spiral into bigger issues by worrying too much about what was wrong with me rather than trusting that my body will overcome this rough experience I’m having with eczema.
- I am committing to acknowledging my feelings, processing them, and to not push them aside. Blogging is certainly helping me to keep accountable with this and I am thankful to have a community of people who support me in this endeavor. If you are reading this, thank you. Thank you for supporting me and for joining me along this journey.
- I am committing to shedding more grace on myself and on others when my expectations are not met. Working in such a high stakes environment has conditioned me to immediately result to a state of frustration when an expectation is not met. I want to take a step back more and see that there is a bigger world than the job that I do. Work is important and I love what I do, but it is not the end all, be all. I cannot take home the stress of my work into my home and I am vowing to “cut things off” in order to live a more balanced, stress-free life.
- I am committing to affirming myself and others when we deserve it. As I’ve gotten older, the more I humble myself and push aside my ego. I want to affirm others when credit is due and be more generous in the words I share with others. This means that if I’m thinking something nice about someone, I’m going to share that with them. I think we could all use more positive affirmation in this world–there’s enough self-doubt, competition and jealousy already. What if we all adopted a “good finding” mindset and sought to find the good in others? How powerful would that be? Instead of thinking about it, I want to commit to doing this in order to create a more positive and fulfilling life.
These are just a few intentions that I have set for myself and just by writing them down and sharing them with you, I hope to stay more accountable. Feel free to check up on me and ask me how I’m doing with any of these! I am feeling really optimistic and good about this new year and am so excited to be able to push the reset button.
Comment below and let me know what your resolutions or intentions are for 2018! We’re all in this together and I’d love to be able to support you in your goals as well! Cheers to a happy, healthy, prosperous new year. Can’t wait to keep connecting with more of you.
What I’m wearing:
- Mockneck Bell Sleeve Sweater from Loft
- This sweater is SO comfortable, cute and perfect for that dash of color. Its currently 60% off the SALE price and comes down to only $20. This is a steal!
- Short Sleeve Wrap Dress from Target
- I wore this dress in the early fall and now am determined to make use of the dress in the winter by layering over it! One of the best ways to transition your fall wardrobe is to LAYER. It’s only $24.99 and if you have a Target Redcard you can get an additional 5% off.
- A New Day Suede Boots from Target
- Amazingly comfortable, chic and great quality boots that fit over thicker calves! These are on repeat this winter! Only $39.99 which makes them even more of a reason to get them!
- Plaid Blanket Scarf from Old Navy (last year)