I wish I could say that I love my body or that I’m truly at peace with the way that I look. But the reality is, like most women, I’m still fighting daily battles with the way that I see myself.
Over the last few years, I’ve grown so much in my confidence and love for the body that I am in. Through finding myself in fitness, learning to feed my body nutritious foods that work well with me, and a lot of inner work to re-wire the narrative in my brain, I’ve finally come to a place where I feel more comfortable with the reflection I see in the mirror. But that doesn’t mean I still have hard days.
I grew up overweight and was always the “chubby kid.” Living in a predominantly white community where many of my peers were long, lean, and blonde, it was always difficult to find my place and confidence. Add on the layer of being overweight in an Asian household, and you have the perfect combination of low self-esteem and and lack of self-worth. If I couldn’t be pretty enough physically, at least I could be high-achieving, right? Ha! For a long time, I put in so much work in my grades, achievements, and accolades because I felt that would help compensate for my perceived lack of physical attractiveness. (Definitely didn’t work.)
But after graduating college, living on my own, and really discovering myself independently–away from family pressures and comments on my appearance–it gave me an opportunity to unpack the narrative in my head. I met so many other amazing women who came into my life and empowered me in my fitness journey. I met amazing women who were also on their journey to loving themselves and in turn, helped me overcome my own insecurities.
And starting this blog has helped me become more comfortable with who I am. Blogging has helped me with my confidence because taking photos has made me more comfortable with posing, looking at photos of myself and being okay with the “bad ones.” It’s helped me with my confidence because I’ve connected with so many amazing other women who are also on this journey to loving themselves and who help me see my own beauty when I find it hard to on some days.
I also love this platform because it’s giving me a chance to create my own beauty standards. You won’t be seeing a five foot, round faced, small-eyed, short-legged, Asian woman on the cover of Cosmo, but on this blog and on my Instagram, at least I can show that for other women who may look like me, beauty doesn’t have to be limited to what has been traditionally shown on TV, social media, and ads. And I’m even more thankful for brands like Loft, who are working to create more body inclusive sizes and clearly try to show diverse faces in their ads.
That’s why I’m so incredibly honored to be partnering with Loft this season and to bring you today’s holiday casual look! If you’ve been following me for awhile, or know in me in real life, you know how much I love Loft. It’s not often that I find a brand where their clothes actually fit my petite yet curvy body. It’s not often where I truly see a brand work towards being size inclusive (they just launched their plus size line!) and it’s not often that I get the chance to work with my dream brand. I’m so grateful for brands like Loft who not only make beautiful clothes for women of all sizes, but also because they give people who look like me a chance to be a brand advocate! While this post is sponsored by Loft, all opinions are my own. This partnership is seriously a dream come true! I’m so thankful for your readership, for your love and support, and for those that are following along on my journey. You’ve helped me get this far and I’m so grateful. #loftlocalstyle #loveloft
Lastly, I want to close on this: Over the past few years, I’ve learned that my worth is not defined by the length of my legs, the flatness of my stomach, or the gap between my thighs (never had one, what is that even?!). My physical appearance does not define my worth and neither does it for you. You are so much more than the way you look. Your heart, your experiences, your personality and light you bring in this world…is what matters.
And when I have those hard body image days, I’m finding so much gratitude in the fact that my body serves me every day–that I am able bodied. That it has gotten me through some dark moments this year and severe health challenges I’ve faced. My body is worthy just the way it is and I’m thankful for all that it can do. I hope that if you’re reading this, you are reminded of how beautiful and worthy you are too.
What I’m Wearing:
- Plaid ruffle utility henley blouse from Loft; $59.50 (50% off now!)
- I love this plaid top because it’s comfy, soft, and lightweight! It has a pretty ruffle detail going down the buttons and I love the henley style top which makes it different than the regular plaid button down. This top comes in petite as well! I’m wearing this in a petite small.
- Petite curvy velvet skinny jeans in black from Loft; $69.50 (50% off now!)
- These jeans fit like a GLOVE. I have thicker thighs and these fit mine perfectly. The best part is that the petite are the PERFECT LENGTH. There are some petite length jeans that are still too long, but Loft nails it when it comes to these jeans! I love how they hug my curves, are so soft, and so comfortable. My six year old cousin asked to touch them because she loved how they looked and felt! Ha! Loft-maybe you should come out with children’s clothes?! Got these in a petite 6 and they’re perfect!!
I hope you enjoyed this post, sweet friends! Leave me a comment–did any of this resonate with you and do you want me to write more posts on my journey to self-love?! Oh and of course, let me know what type of Loft looks you want me to create! Be on the lookout for more!