Three weeks ago, I received an e-mail inviting me to a Fabletics Casting Call. They were looking for influencers to be models for their clothing. My first reaction was: who, me? Little old me?
Immediately, my impostor syndrome kicked in.
Alyssa, you’re not good enough. You aren’t pretty enough to be a model. You aren’t thin enough. Your skin isn’t ready.
You see, the anxiety is real for me. As much as I exude confidence, doing new things still evokes fear for me. I still get that voice inside my head that tries to talk me out of things. It’s the voice that tells me I’m not good enough and that I’m not ready.
But I’ve worked hard to not let that voice win. I’ve made it a personal mantra of mine to “not let fear be the reason why I don’t try something.” Because fear is all in my head. And for most of us, it’s the fear of failure or fear of rejection that prevents us from even trying. I never want to miss out on my own potential simply because of that voice inside my head. So I’ve decided that any time I get that feeling in my gut…that anxiety that says play it safe…I reroute my thinking to something like this:
You can do this. Alyssa, you’ve done harder things in your life. What have you got to lose?
And the truth is, I had nothing to lose. This casting call wasn’t anything definitive–they may or may not actually cast me for a future photo shoot. But regardless, I wanted to show up for the six year old me who never felt beautiful or worthy. Who hated being photographed because she didn’t love what she saw. I wanted to show up for myself–to prove that I’m capable and worthy of being seen, even if my body isn’t a size 0, and even if my skin shows that I’m still healing my eczema.
I wanted to show up for the women who look like me or struggle like me. Because let’s be real–how many ads do you see of Asian women for a major brand? Let alone an Asian woman who is 5 foot and not a size 0? ……I’ll wait.
The fact that Fabletics is reaching out to real women, women of color, and women who do not fit the typical thin, long, and lean body type is something to be noted. I’m happy to have had the opportunity to represent women who look like me. And I’m proud to have shown up despite my insecurities.
The experience itself took 15 minutes and was fun! Once I changed into my outfit, which was my first time wearing Fabletics EVER, I realized that my fears were silly. I happened to be there with two other women and seeing how we were all just real women with different body types was empowering. I took my place on the piece of tape they marked on the floor and the photographer began snapping away. I realized that all my insecurities and fears of being “exposed”…began to melt away. I guess there is a little ham in me that enjoys being in front of a camera! Ha!
I’m so glad I didn’t let that voice inside my head win that day and that I showed up. I now have these photos to remember this experience and even if nothing more comes out of it, I can look back with pride and know that I am capable of doing the things that scare me the most.
And so the next time you’re presented with an opportunity that scares you, I hope this serves as encouragement to do the dang thing. Fear is temporary. Ask yourself, what’s the worst that could happen? Why am I feeling this way? Is this fear real or perceived? How will I feel after I accomplish this? Chances are you are way more capable, ready, and worthy of these opportunities than you realize.
You got this, sweet friends! I’m cheering you on from afar and know that you can accomplish anything that comes your way. What’s one fear you’ve overcome or are working on overcoming? Share below in the comments and let’s encourage each other!